If starting coaching made me realize something, it’s that we all have some common issues that come up very often. One of the issues that comes up most frequently is the idea of confidence and how to cultivate inner confidence. I have decided to dedicate this article to exploring the concept of confidence and the methods for cultivating a strong level of confidence.
I might talk a little more about my experience with confidence and personal stories another day. Today, I want to give some advice and insights from my own experience and things I have learned along the way. I usually don’t talk a lot about “confidence” because it’s a very broad subject that involves so many components. The idea of confidence isn’t as simple as it may seem. Confidence is not just one thing, it’s more a combination of things. It’s about self-trust, it’s about self-acceptance, but it’s also about an unbothered attitude towards the external (not in a douchey way either, Huh?! 😅) among other aspects.
This world… a very materialistic world where we can easily start placing our value in things that don’t matter. We often build our confidence around possessions, achievements, or even appearance, ending up building our confidence around things that don’t matter for people we don’t care about. But none of those things can be reliable sources of confidence because they’re all susceptible to change. We all know that, but how well do we really understand it? True confidence is not dependent on anything external. It is an internal feeling of self-worth and a belief in your own abilities. With this kind of confidence, we can handle anything that comes our way.
It’s different from superficial confidence that relies on things like material possession. External sources are unstable and can easily change, leading to fluctuating confidence levels. Genuine confidence stays strong because it is deep within you. We can understand now that this work begins within and then impacts the world around us. I don’t know anyone who works on themselves internally that doesn’t see a change in their perspective. This internal work is transformative, shifting how we see the world and ourselves. When we build confidence from within, it’s not just about feeling better, it’s about seeing things differently. We begin to recognize our inner worth and abilities, regardless of external validation.
It’s true that maintaining internal confidence can be challenging, especially in a world that constantly overwhelms us with messages of what we should value. It will try to convince you that you must change something or become something, and it is very easy to lose a part of yourself in that. The world will try to mold you to fit in with everyone else. And that is when you will have to say “NO,” saying “NO” to what the world makes you think you need, saying “NO” to what the world makes you think you should be, saying “NO” to what the world says you should look like.
Imagine being so detached from what the world thinks of you that you become unstoppable! You can never be wrong if you remember this: in all this worldly noise, the only truth is the one coming from your heart. Just follow it. I don’t know any instance where I followed my heart and intuition and got it wrong. But I know many times when I didn’t trust that inner voice and made the wrong choice. You can try to reflect on areas where you may be relying too much on external validation. I try to do that regularly because it’s very easy to lose yourself. Slowly, you can start taking steps towards building a more resilient inner sense of confidence. Remember, your confidence shouldn’t be dependent on anything external, it’s time to trust and believe in yourself from within.
A quote from Ralph W. Emerson that I often referred to when I wanted to pursue music but was stuck with a law degree that I hated is:
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Trusting it will bring some light to someone’s shadow,
Amale 💫💙
Amale Bouzlafa 
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