Amale Bouzlafa

“Some lessons have to be experienced to be learned…”
— James Clear

Funny, it’s often said that it’s better to learn from the experiences of others, especially if it can save us the pain of making certain mistakes. But there are some lessons that we have to learn by experiencing them ourselves. Who would we be if we hadn’t gone through the trials, the mistakes, the painful experiences that shaped us? Each of these moments, as difficult as they may have been, has contributed to who we are today. Think about any significant lesson you’ve learned in your life. Would you be the same person if you hadn’t had that experience? I doubt it. It’s through our own unique journey that we truly come to understand ourselves and the world around us.

I’ve had my fair share of painful lessons. There were times when I wished I could have avoided the heartache, the failures, and the disappointments. But looking back, I realize that each of those experiences taught me something invaluable. They forced me to grow, to reassess my values, and to become more resilient. Without them, I wouldn’t have the depth of understanding or the empathy that I have today. One lesson that stands out to me is the importance of self-love. It’s easy to say that you should love yourself, but it’s much harder to truly internalize that belief. For years, I struggled with self-hatred and low self-esteem. I looked for validation from others, thinking that their approval would make me feel whole. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom, feeling utterly lost and alone, that I realized the validation I was seeking could only come from within. That painful experience was the catalyst for a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance that I never would have embarked on otherwise.

Another profound lesson I learned was the value of vulnerability. For a long time, I believed that showing vulnerability was a sign of weakness. I put up walls and pretended to be strong, even when I was falling apart inside. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to open up to others and share my true feelings, that I experienced genuine connection and support. It was a terrifying and liberating experience that taught me the strength that lies in being authentic. There are also lessons that come from our mistakes. I’ve made decisions that I regret, choices that led to consequences I wish I could undo. But each mistake has been a powerful teacher. They’ve taught me humility, accountability, and the importance of making amends. They’ve shown me that it’s okay to be imperfect, and that what matters most is how we respond to our failures and learn from them.

We often try to protect ourselves and others from pain, thinking that we’re doing the right thing. But sometimes, the very experiences we’re trying to avoid are the ones that will teach us the most. It’s like trying to shield a child from falling when they’re learning to walk. Yes, they might get hurt, but those falls are part of the process of gaining balance and strength. In my journey, I’ve learned that some lessons can’t be taught; they have to be lived. We can read all the books, listen to all the advice, and watch all the inspirational talks, but until we go through it ourselves, the lesson won’t fully sink in. Experience has a way of making things real in a way that words alone cannot.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we should ignore the wisdom of others or deliberately seek out painful experiences. It’s about recognizing that when life does throw challenges our way, there is value in those moments. It’s about being open to the growth that comes from struggle and trusting that each experience is shaping us into who we’re meant to be.

So, while it’s important to learn from others when possible, we must also embrace the unique lessons that only personal experience can provide. These lessons are often the most transformative, leading us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world. So, welcome your journey with all its twists and turns, knowing that each experience is an essential part of your personal growth and evolution.

“Some lessons have to be experienced before they can be understood.”
― Michael Batnick

Trusting it will bring some light to someone’s shadow,

Amale 💫💙