Amale Bouzlafa

Power of the mind or  self-fulfilling prophecy ?

In life, just as in driving, where you place your focus can essentially shape your journey and destination. I remember a lesson from my driving instructor that has stayed with me through the years. She told me, “Don’t watch the barriers or fixate on the obstacles around you because you’ll end up heading straight towards them.” Instead, she recommended me to start focusing on the road, concentrating on where I wanted to go rather than where I feared to go. This simple driving lesson turned out to be a profound lesson for life, especially when considering the power of our thoughts and the boomerang effect they can have.

“Your Focus Determines Your Reality” wisely said by Qui-Gon Jinn ( yes, from Star Wars 😊), this resonates deeply with me. It is clear that our lives are shaped by the focus of our thoughts. If we focus on the negatives, the barriers, and the fears, we unintentionally set ourselves up to encounter them. On the other hand, by focusing on our aspirations, positive outcomes, and the paths that lead to growth and healing, we align ourselves with opportunities for success and happiness. This idea is closely related to the psychological principle known as the “self-fulfilling prophecy.” When we concentrate on certain thoughts and beliefs, whether positive or negative, we often act in ways that bring those expectations to life. This demonstrates the incredible power and energy of our thoughts and underscores the importance of directing them wisely.

For example, during a particularly difficult moment in my own life, I found myself focusing on worries and doubts. It seemed like the more I tried to fight these negative thoughts, the stronger they became. They were like my barriers, and focusing on them only pulled me further into a cycle of anxiety and desperation. It was a realization that came with painful experiences, teaching me that resisting these thoughts was not as effective as accepting and redirecting them. As Eckhart Tolle says, “You are not your thoughts; you are the awareness behind them.” This perspective helps us understand that while our thoughts can influence our reality, they do not define who we are. Recognizing this distinction can help us manage our focus and make sure that our thoughts serve us, rather than control us.

Everything changed when I started practicing mindfulness through meditation. I knew about focus meditation and had been practicing it daily for a few years, but I was unaware of the real power of meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, which is very different from focus meditation. Focus meditation involves concentrating on a single point of reference, like your breath or a mantra, to develop deep concentration. Mindfulness meditation, however, involves observing everything around you and within you without judgment. This shift allowed me to embrace my thoughts and emotions, acknowledging them without getting caught up in them. By accepting rather than resisting my thoughts, I found a deeper sense of peace and presence in my daily life.

These tools helped me to observe my thoughts without attachment or immediate reaction, and I learned to feel even the most uncomfortable emotions. This practice didn’t remove life’s obstacles—challenges remained—but it changed my focus. Instead of focusing on every problem along my path, I learned to focus on my responses and the steps I could take to get through difficulties. This subtle shift in focus led to a profound change in my life direction, moving me away from repeated cycles of suffering and towards a trajectory of healing and growth.

Focusing on possibilities instead of limitations has also allowed me to tap into my creativity and resilience. When we direct our mental energy towards what we can create and how we can grow, we open ourselves up to a world of opportunities. We become proactive rather than reactive, creators rather than just survivors of our circumstances. As Stephen Covey said, “Being proactive is more than taking initiative. It is recognizing that we are responsible for our own choices and have the freedom to choose based on principles and values rather than on moods or conditions. Proactive people are agents of change and choose not to be victims, to be reactive, or to blame others.”

In reflecting on these lessons, it’s clear how our mental focus acts like a boomerang or a mirror, returning to us what we send out into the world. If we throw out negativity, fear, and doubt, these will inevitably come back to us, impacting our lives and perhaps even defining them. But when we choose to send out positivity, hope, and determination, these too will return, shaping a reality filled with potential and light.

This shows us how important it is to cultivate a mental environment where positive thoughts can thrive. By surrounding ourselves with affirmations, engaging with uplifting content, and spending time in environments that reinforce the best aspects of life, we can build a healthy mindset. In that sense, our minds are like a garden, and just as a gardener tends to his plants, providing them with the right amount of water, sunlight, and soil, we must tend to our minds, feeding them with care, positivity, and a vision of what we aspire to achieve.

As you go through life, make a conscious and wise choice on what to focus on. Remember that the paths you look towards are the paths you are most likely to take. Let this understanding guide you not only to avoid unnecessary crashes but to reach your destinations with fulfillment and joy…

Trusting it will bring some light to someone’s shadow,

Amale 💫💙