Amale Bouzlafa

“Istafti Qalbak”

This simple Arabic sentence translates to “consult your heart” or “ask your heart” in English. It suggests turning inward and reflecting on your true feelings or intuition when making decisions or considering something important. All of us as humans have this ability deep inside. It is an ability we are born with, but over time, through the pressure of societal norms and conformity, we forget how to use it. We are taught to be rational and to think before acting. This ability slowly disappears, making way for an overthinking, analytical, self-critical, and often cruel mind.

We forget how to consult our hearts. We spend our lives running and running—maybe this car will make us happy, maybe this house, maybe this relationship, maybe…maybe… Traveling made me realize something that intrigued me for the longest time: why are people who have the most so unhappy, while people who have less seem so content and joyful? It’s actually very surprising if we think about it because you would imagine people who have everything to be the most fulfilled.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive for more, achieve more, or want more…

It’s more an invitation to question our relationship with the things we want and our relationship with the things we have. How much do we let these things dictate our choices and our actions? How much of those things actually matter? What else are we deciding to sacrifice for something we think we need? Time with family? Time with friends? The development of our children? Or the time left with our parents? These are important questions that everyone should ask themselves because often, regrets come from not spending this time, not having this conversation…

We all have an inner fight, more or less frightening. We spend life running from this inner fight, running from these questions that remain without answers. However, when we stop running, this is where the magic happens. A discussion with the heart, a reconciliation with the soul. We must stop this endless conflict, we must stop running, we must stop fighting with ourselves, and face it. We realize that the conflict wasn’t that frightening. It was actually very simple. Your heart is asking for you to listen. And the only way to stop this inner fight is a patient listening ear.

More generally, we have to start asking ourselves what we really want, what we really care about. Is it fitting in with society or enjoying the freedom of just existing? Is it gaining approval and validation from strangers or being at peace with ourselves? What is our soul searching for? What is our heart asking? What are we running towards?

Most people want to be happy and fulfilled. I mean, who wouldn’t want that? But we quickly realize that happiness is an illusion when we think of it as an accumulation of objects and empty relationships. It only becomes real when we focus on things that really matter, things that our soul desires. But what is that thing? How do you figure that out?

“Istafti Qalbak”

LISTEN! By learning to listen, you can find the answers you need. Take a moment every day, in silence, and focus on your breathing. Then move to observing your thoughts, not analyzing them or judging them, but just observing. See these thoughts moving slowly and disappearing like clouds. You will know that your heart is speaking when this silence becomes peaceful, not disturbed by the thoughts of the analytical mind but welcomed by the peace of your soul. After this session, you can take a journal and write down what you learned. You can use these questions below:

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• What am I hiding? Why?
• What does my soul want me to know?
• What did I forget?
• What is my heart yearning for?
• How can I open myself up to the new world and step into this new reality?

It’s very important not to judge or analyze the answers you might get. Let your heart and soul express themselves openly. Don’t reject these answers instantly but welcome them with unconditional self-acceptance and self-love. Trust yourself in this journey of self-discovery and realize that only you have the answers you seek.

Trusting it will bring some light to someone’s shadow,

Amale 💫💙